Green 88!
Set!
Hut!
That ends the first half of play...
...with the score: Cleveland, 17...
...Los Angeles, 10.
Let's go! Move!
Billy Cole!
The first half stunk!
Open up the holes! Get in there like pigs!
Billy Cole.
Got a call on Line 3.
Let's kick some butt!
Let's get out of this town as winners!
l hate Cleveland!
Hello, William. This is Milo.
There's a lot of money on this game.
You better start scoring some touchdowns, William.
Do whatever it takes. Understood?
Or else you're history.
Welcome back to the second half. We're in Cleveland...
...the site of tonight's game between the L.A. Stallions and the Cleveland Cats.
l'm Vern Lundquist. along with Dick Butkus.
And yes. friends. it really is that wet.
Vern. even though the Stallions trail 1 7 to 10...
...there walks a happy man--
Sheldon Marcone, owner of the L.A. Stallions.
His team sits atop the Western Division at 6 and 2.
-Sheldon is standing by with Lynn Swann. -Let's go to them.
49.256.
Pretty poor attendance even for a night like this. wouldn't you say?
l wouldn't say.
Can you explain the drop-off in attendance and TV ratings?
ls this the death of professional football?
No. l think that we're witnessing the death of good journalism.
Mr. Marcone. are there any heroes left in this game?
What game are you watching? Let's talk about heroes.
Billy Cole is having the game of his life tonight.
First and ten on the Cleveland 47-yard line.
First and ten, less than two minutes remaining.
This is probably L.A.'s final possession.
The Stallions need 7. A field goal will not do.
They need to get the ball to Billy Cole.
The pass is complete to Billy Cole.
Ain't life a bitch?
Dude's trashed.
Shit. We should do something to him.
Do it.
This dude is really trashed.
Go on. Take his watch.
He's got a gun!
This is Hallenbeck Investigations. Leave your message at the beep.
Mike Matthews. I got a job for you.
Hold on a minute.
l thought you were still in Las Vegas.
I was going to leave a message.
Terrific. What'd you do last night?
l think l fucked a squirrel to death and don't remember.
Are you still taking charity?
-What do you got? -Stripper. Excuse me, exotic dancer.
She's got some weirdo hassling her and I'm booked solid.
She's hot.
Rates three on my finger scale.
That means I'd cut off three fingers if God would let me fuck her.
Make her a one on your nose scale.
lmprove your looks.
Yeah. eat me.
l'm booked. You got plans?
l'm thinking about smoking some cigarettes.
Could you postpone?
These are pretty good cigarettes.
lt's 500 bucks.
l got to run some errands.
Meet you at your office in an hour.
Terrific. Comb your hair. I'll lend you a nice jacket.
Nobody likes you.
Everybody hates you.
You're going to lose.
Smile. you fuck.
Jimmy?
You still here?
l guess l am.
Help me!
Yo. Ray.
-What's with the girl. man? -Bitch won't blow me.
lt's too early for that shit. Let her go.
She ain't coming up till she starts blowing.
She's gonna drown.
Fuck you. loser!
Let her go.
What are you doing here anyway? This is the League Party.
You got kicked out. remember?
Bastard!
-Come on. get out of here. -Pig!
You fuckhead!
Best arm in the National League. Remember that. you fat son of a bitch.
l thought you were in Las Vegas.
l was.
Where'd you sleep?
ln the office.
Hey. Furry Tom.
How much did you lose?
l wasn't there to gamble.
How much?
l was doing a skip-trace.
Fifty bucks.
What is this?
SATAN CLAUS
Darian's classroom holiday picture. That was hers.
Obviously. her teacher wants to see us.
Where is she?
Up at a friend's.
Boys still giving her a hard time with her braces?
Are you kidding?
''Metal mouth.'' that's the latest. Little bastards.
She'll be screwing them by the time she's 14.
Watch your goddamn mouth.
You let her wear so much make-up she looks like...
...a goddamn raccoon.
l come home and think it's a burglar. l almost shot her twice.
You're not funny. All the girls wear make-up.
l'm sure they don't put it on with a paint sprayer.
For your information...
-...a lot of people think l'm very funny. -Go live with them.
Don't tempt me.
Who's the guy in the closet?
Excuse me?
Sometimes you forget l'm a detective.
All this steam in the shower. like somebody was just in there.
Your hair is dry. So it must be somebody else we're talking about.
A male somebody. 'cause the toilet seat's up.
Since he's not under the bed. you must've stuck him in the closet...
...when you heard my key hit the lock a day early.
Who's the guy in the closet?
Jesus Christ. nothing changes.
You're still a lunatic.
Gonna tell me who it is?
You want me to open the closet?
l'll do it and then we'll both know that you're a fucking psycho!
ls that what you want?
Thank you.
That door stays shut.
What l'm going to do is count to three.
Then l'll put a bullet in that door.
You can stop me any time by telling the truth.
Call your shrink and tell him you're fucking losing it.
The truth is a beautiful thing.
How dare you come into this house and--
Three.
Keeping her warm for me?
Easy. Don't do nothing dumb.
How was she?
On your finger scale. how was my wife?
lt just happened.
Sure. l know.
lt just happened.
lt could happen to anybody.
lt was an accident. right?
You tripped...
...slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife.
''l'm so sorry. Mrs. H. This just isn't my week.''
Put the gun down. please.
Oh. yeah. the gun.
You're right.
l think l am losing it.
Head or gut. Mike?
Joe. how long have we been friends?
Till you started banging my wife.
Head or gut?
Gut.
Got that address for me?
The surveillance job.
You still want the job?
Five hundred bucks is 500 bucks. Mike.
l guess you're right.
CORY EXOTlC DANCER
Throw a shot into her. too?
Get the fuck out of here. Go shit in your own yard.
Joe!
Over here.
Somebody wired the car.
Who the fuck did this?
Mr. Rogers.
How the hell should l know?
You told the cops--
Told them Mike came to farm out a surveillance job this morning.
That's all?
You didn't mention....
No. l didn't mention it.
You knew. didn't you?
l suspected.
Goddamn it! Why didn't you say something?
What do you want me to say?
''Fuck you. Sarah''?
Yeah or anything to get a rise out of you.
How about: ''You're a lying bitch.''
How about: ''lf there weren't cops here l'd spit in your face.''
You want me to spit on you?
lt would show you have some pride left.
Fresh out. honey.
You know what? Fuck you. Joe. You were never around. l was lonely!
Buy a dog.
l'm not the one who hates you. Joe. You're the one who hates you.
And l get to live with myself 24 hours a day.
Alex. the astronaut.
Last time l saw you drink straight vodka was when you had cheated on Cory.
Why don't you pour me another?
You didn't.
You gotta be crazy. partner. cheating on her.
l gotta be something.
Because nowadays l only lose friends. drink and nail anything with a heartbeat.
Just stay on that side of the bar.
Oh. Harp.
Should l pay you now?
No. you should not. Put the money away.
Sit down.
You don't think the cops can help you?
Sure. After l'm dead. they'll perform the autopsy.
l guess you don't want to wait that long.
Guess not.
This is the only music they play in this joint?
l hate this funk shit.
l'll have to charge you extra.
What'd you expect?
The Four Freshmen.
Pat Boone.
-What are you. my father? -Yeah. l'm your father.
-Put some clothes on. -You're hilarious.
Stick your head in that speaker.
You'll be screaming: ''Play that funky music. white boy! ''
The screaming part. l believe.
Hello. handsome.
Who's that stiff over there?
That's nobody.
lt's my turn to dance. Shit.
All right. Let's bring out a woman who's always in the mood.
Put your hands together for the lovely and talented Miss Cory!
You're nobody.
Don't tell anyone.
Cory says you're nobody.
Easy. Nobody's raining on your parade. l'm just keeping an eye on her.
What are you? Some kind of bodyguard?
Yeah. something like that.
Got a match?
ls Cory in trouble?
l don't know. You tell me.
She didn't mention anything to me.
Does that piss you off?
Maybe.
Don't sweat it.
Women have secrets.
Water's wet. The sky is blue. Women have secrets.
Who gives a fuck?
You want a beer?
So she just hired you?
You're in the book?
She hired my buddy. Mike. l'm just filling in.
Where's this Mike?
He died.
l'm sorry to hear that.
He was an asshole.
l don't know who the fuck you are or what's going on. but Cory's my girl.
lf she's in trouble. l want to know about it.
Confidential. big boy.
Why don't you just tell me anyway?
Nope.
Man. you couldn't protect a cup of warm piss.
Why don't you just hit me?
Excuse me?
Come on. chickenshit. Bust me in the chops.
You don't think an old guy like me could hurt you. do you?
You know who l am?
James Alexander Dix. quarterback for the L.A. Stallions. '89. '90.
Banned from the League on gambling charges.
Allegations of drug abuse.
Another tragic tale of wasted youth.
Now you're starting to piss me off!
lt's about fucking time.
Joe Hallenbeck.
l'm a private detective.
You're fucking low-life to me.
At least l didn't shit my talent away on coke.
l spilled my warm cup of piss.
-Cory. let's go. Come on. -What's the matter with you?
Shut up! Keep your monkey ass in the cage.
lt's cool.
Let's hear it for Miss Cory.
$2.25 Cigarettes
ELECT BAYNARD
l didn't vote for you. son of a bitch.
So l'm a low-life.
That's him. He was with her.
Get him out of here and kill him.
There's no contract on him.
Then you'll do it for free. Just do it elsewhere.
Alex. the pediatrician.
lf l were a cat. l'd purr.
Behave.
l want you to come back to my place with me.
l want to give you your birthday present.
Does it look like that?
Do you want it?
What is it? Give me a hint.
A hint?
How would you like to get your old job back?
Go on. Get in there.
Wrong place. wrong time. Nothing personal.
That's what you think. Last night l fucked your wife.
You did? How did you know it was my wife?
She said her husband was a big pimp-looking motherfucker with a hat.
You're real cool. for a guy about to take a bullet.
After fucking your wife. l'll take two.
What's this about you getting me my old job back?
Where the hell is he?
The detective?
What kind of trouble are you in?
Trouble? l'm not in any trouble. Just some creep threatening me.
Let's go back inside and wait for Hallenbeck.
What am l? Chopped liver?
Hallenbeck's a bum.
What's he gonna do? Light a match and breathe on them?
lf this creep shows up. l'll bitch-slap him.
l'll follow you home. Get in your car.
You'll ''bitch-slap'' him?
Yeah. Bitch-slap him.
Now. where you want it? ln the chest? Or the head?
That's what your wife said.
Would you stop with the wife shit?
Ask me how fat she is.
Fuck you.
How fat is she?
She's so fat l had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
You want to fuck her. you slap her thigh and ride the wave in.
Now l'm not saying she's fat.
Her high-school picture was an aerial photograph.
Bastard!
And then some.
Don't get out of your car.
Can't you fucking drive?
Back up.
Leather pants?
What's something like that run?
Six-fifty.
Six hundred and fifty dollars?
The pants?
You wear them?
Yes.
They have like a TV in them or something?
Nope.
l am very old.
Something stinks in here.
lt's his statement! lt's bullshit. Hallenbeck is hiding something.
How do you know?
'Cause l know how the fuck his mind works!
Every lie has 80 percent truth to it. lt's scary.
We looking at the same guy?
What is it you're looking at?
A guy who looks like he just slept in his clothes.
That's what everybody sees.
-There's more? -A lot more.
A long time ago. the same bastard saved the president's life.
Cory's story about some weirdo hassling her was bullshit.
l don't know what she was into. but that was a professional hit tonight.
Gangland style.
l figure Mike was working for her. same as me.
He gets scared.
Very scared.
Bails out. dumps it in my lap.
Guess he bailed out too late.
They're still scraping him off my stucco.
lf Mike knew this was dangerous...
...why didn't he say anything to you?
He was fucking my wife.
l die...he gets the wife.
Free to go.
Pick up your gun at the property desk.
You took all day.
l got a call from the Bel Air P.D.
Seems like Senator Baynard has been getting obscene phone calls.
l better not find out it's you.
Anything else. Lieutenant?
There's a new invention. lt's called the razor.
Too risky. l might start thinking about you and slash my wrists.
He got a beef with Baynard?
The senator got him fired from his job.
Was he a cop?
Secret service?
And Baynard had you fired?
How come?
None of your business.
What are you doing here?
l knocked out four of his teeth.
You ever played ball? You got a good build.
What. are you a fag?
No. l'm just trying to break the ice.
l like ice. Leave it the fuck alone.
You're a lot of fun to be with.
Fuck you.
So what's the next move. ace? Where do we go from here?
l'm going home.
lt would seem my job is done.
Fuck that. We saw Cory get murdered.
You want to get your ass shot off. Flash. be my guest.
When you're dead. l'll take your $600 pants.
Six-fifty.
You look familiar. Do l know you?
You might. People recognize me.
Got it! ''Cue Ball'' Morton. Used to sell hash in Boyle Heights.
No. l played football. Jimmy Dix. L.A. Stallions.
-What position? -Forget it.
Football. Free agents ruined the goddamn game!
We may run into more fans. Want to borrow my sunglasses?
-Fuck you. -Snappy comeback.
Where did Cory live?
Harper Apartments. on Melrose. Why?
Thinking about going by there. take a look around.
Good. l'll come with you.
Fuck. you will.
Have a nice night. Junior.
-l know where she keeps the extra key. -l won't need a key.
And you're not worried about the alarm.
lt's pretty high-tech. l put it in myself.
But you probably know how to circumvent it.
Circumvent?
lt's called a vocabulary. You read much?
My subscription to ''Jugs'' just ran out.
Get in the car.
How did she afford a place like this? These joints must run a fortune.
-Tell me about it. l pay the rent. -Ain't that charming.
She sounds like a real special girl.
What else you give her money for? Clothes? Car payments?
lt wasn't like that.
Cory could've had plenty of rich guys. Me. she loved.
Love. Forget about it.
You don't believe in love?
Yeah. l believe in love. l believe in cancer.
-They're both diseases? -Something like that.
l want to meet the bitch that fucked you up.
Your show. ace.
-Security system? -l circumvented it.
Don't touch anything. Don't leave a mess for the cops.
Oh. my God!
-You vacuum. l'll dust. -Stay put.
Go. Tarzan.
Who's this guy with Cory?
Shelly Marcone. Owns the L.A. Stallions.
He used to date her for a while. Treated her like shit and she left.
-Where you going? -To the bathroom.
You want to come? The doc said l shouldn't lift anything heavy.
No. l'll pass.
Ten to one. this is what they were looking for.
-That's Marcone. -Yeah. l know.
-l don't know who this is. -Calvin Baynard. the senator.
And these two assholes with him?
His bodyguards. He goes nowhere without protection.
Xerox copy of a phone bill.
What's this number they keep calling?
Baynard's home phone number.
You know the senator's home number?
So l called him a couple of times. Shut the fuck up.
What's all this mean?
l don't know. Junior. lf we're lucky...
...blackmail evidence will put the two most powerful men in California away.
Why would Cory want to blackmail them?
-You said she was fucking Marcone. -l didn't say fucking. l said dating.
Whatever she was doing. she heard or saw something. The point is--
-She tried to blackmail them. -She hires Mike--
-To get evidence against them. -Right.
Now we have the evidence.
What we got is Marcone and Baynard by the nuts.
And that is why l love America.
-Hello? -Hey, Calvin?
Shelly Marcone.
-That's Marcone. -How you doin'?
I'd prefer if you didn't use my name.
Man's skittish.
If I didn't know better, I'd say you were contemplating something shady.
-There's no law against it. -Get to the good stuff.
-Not unless you pass one. -l'll fast-forward.
Don't!
Fast-forward eats the tape!
How should l know? Our only evidence and your shitty car ate the tape!
-The car sucks. -Shut the fuck up!
lf this is fucking ruined. l'm going to crush your nuts.
This is ruined. l swear to God.
Fast-forward eats the tape.
This is my birthday present.
Cory was blackmailing Marcone.
But she wasn't trying to get cash. She was trying to get my old job back.
She's dead because of me.
Where you going?
Home. l don't feel too hot.
Come on. l'll take you home.
l'll give you a ride.
l'll take Cory's car. l got the key.
l thought that was Cory's car at the bar?
Cory had two cars.
Get out of the car!
What's your trip? What's wrong with you?
-What is it? -C-4.
Plastic explosive.
They wired the ignition to Mike's car. They figured they'd do the same with hers.
Lucky for you they wired the wrong car.
Leave this for the cops to analyze.
You're putting that in the trunk?
No. we should just leave it for the neighborhood kids to play with.
Good evening. gentlemen.
Where's the gun?
-Bit late for a stroll. -You girls should get home.
-Street lights are on. -Shut up. fuckface.
l'm fuckface. He's asshole.
Apprise Rodney Dangerfield here of his situation.
Perhaps we can dispense with the fun and games now.
-You want the envelope. right? -Very smart.
Here's a man who knows when a situation is untenable.
Good word.
You like that word?
You do have that envelope?
We better give up. We're dealing with a couple geniuses here.
Leave him the fuck alone.
''Leave him alone''? Sure. whatever you say.
Jake attacks his job with a certain exuberance.
We're being beat up by the inventor of Scrabble.
-He's still happy. Kick him again. -All right.
Want the hooker's envelope?
-She wasn't a hooker. -Shut the fuck up!
Where is it?
ln the trunk.
Give me the keys.
Slow and easy.
Give them to Jake.
Dumb bastard. you'll pay for that.
Open the trunk.
Son of a bitch!
You alive?
l don't know. yet.
Was that C-4?
That. or a hell of a factory recall.
Dead guys don't make bad jokes.
Shit. we're alive.
Come on. get out of here.
-You sure? -l'll take the heat on this.
You positive?
This is a police matter. you dumb son of a bitch!
And l'm sick and tired of sweeping up your dead bodies!
Next time l see your ugly mug...
...l'll put a bullet in it! You got it?
l just wanted to shake your hand.
Ben told me about what you did for the president. l respect that.
Hey. ugly.
Looks like our evidence got blown up.
l think we might have to get some more.
Just won't let go. huh?
You're like a dog with a Frisbee.
My girl's dead. The guys that did it are at Spago's eating Chicken Marsala.
And Reindeer Goat-Cheese Pizza.
lt ain't right.
No. it ain't right.
This ain't no game. Flash.
Real guns.
Real bullets.
lt's dangerous.
Danger's my middle name.
Mine's Cornelius.
Tell anybody. l'll kill you.
-You ever watch ''Soul Train''? -Shut the fuck up.
We start tomorrow.
ln the meantime. l'd like to see my family.
Your family. huh?
You got kids?
-A little girl. -Does she like you?
No. not too much.
She likes Prince. Go figure.
l like Prince.
An actual house.
l was thinking of a cave with skulls and shit.
Feel like l've been rode hard and put away wet.
What the hell does that mean?
lt's horse talk.
Brothers ride horses now?
Cars are getting too hard to steal.
You ever wear a little cowboy hat?
l'm really good.
Maybe l could take your daughter out.
She's 13 and if you look at her funny. l'll stick an umbrella up your ass and open it.
-Why aren't you in bed? -Darian's watching TV.
-l can see that. -She's also pissed at you big time.
What happened to your face?
My God! lt speaks!
Nothing happened to my face. lt always looks like this.
What's wrong with his face?
His nose is too pointy. His eyes are beady. His ears are too big.
He needs a shave.
l'm peeing my pants. you're so funny.
My daughter. Darian.
My name is Jimmy.
Why is that number on the back of your head?
ls it a license plate in case it's stolen?
No. it's a football thing. lt's my high-school number.
So when do you graduate?
You want to be left alone. don't you?
l'll be in the kitchen.
Over here.
She's got your winning personality.
You get used to it.
l got some ice cream. You want some?
Leave me alone! l hate you!
She's pissed off 'cause l wouldn't let her date Tommy.
l only missed the best party of the year.
Why didn't you let her go?
Because she's 13 years old. jerk-off.
-Want some ice cream or not? -l'm not talking to you.
That's a shame.
l'll miss all those pleasant things you always say to me.
''Dad. l hate you.''
lt's chocolate chip. your favorite.
l don't care.
You're an asshole.
You know how l hate to waste food.
You want to abuse me some more?
Shock me.
-l hardly ever hear the word ''asshole.'' -Bullshit!
-Bet you hear it all the time! -That's enough!
-What'll you do. ground me some more? -lf you want.
Yes. sir. asshole.
-You're grounded for a week. -Leave me alone!
He thinks he's Ward Cleaver.
You want to talk like a trash-mouth? Sound like your mother? Go ahead.
lt's bad enough l gotta hear this shit all day. but l gotta hear it from you. too.
Why don't you go easy on the girl. man?
Don't tell me how to talk to my kid.
Let me hear it. Let me hear the really juicy dirty words.
You're such a fuckup.
You're my daughter. you're in my home. You will respect me. You got that?
Never call me a fuckup.
Why shouldn't l? Mom calls you one all the time.
Your mother called me a fuckup?
When?
-On the phone with Uncle Jay. -Uncle Jay?
l'm a fuckup. but Uncle Jay. there's a real stand-up guy.
The bastard cheats on his taxes.
Go ask your mother why Mr. Wonderful's not in jail for tax evasion.
Because he doesn't fuck up.
Go to bed.
For 50 bucks you could pay a guy to pull her fingernails out.
Anything that much fun l'd rather do myself.
l don't know about you. but l could use a drink.
Shit. That's you?
You were fucking Ward Cleaver.
l was a regular Boy Scout.
You and the president.
Damn. hanging with the Man.
Looks like one of those cardboard cutout things.
l once had my picture taken with Don Johnson like that.
-You still got the picture? -l threw it away.
Are you getting a divorce?
l don't know.
You don't like women much. do you?
l liked the guy she was fucking.
He was my best friend.
He was a scumbag private detective.
All private detectives are scumbags.
That scumbag tried to get you killed.
Friends can't be perfect.
l wish the sky wasn't blue.
l wish water wasn't wet.
l wish l didn't still love my wife.
Life sucks.
To Alex. the accountant.
Your accountant's name is Alex?
He could have been.
Alex was my son.
l used to be married.
One Sunday. l'm away in Miami....
She couldn't come 'cause she was eight months pregnant.
Walking down La Brea Boulevard...
...out of nowhere a pickup truck jumped a curb.
Never knew what hit her.
She died.
But Alex lived for 1 7 minutes in an incubator.
He fell asleep.
Had time for one dream.
Then he died.
l think about him all the time.
l threw for 300 yards that day.
While my wife and kid were dying...
...l had the game of my life.
Life sucks.
Can l use your shower?
Bathroom's down the hall. first door on the right.
Flash. l brought you a towel.
This what you were looking for at Cory's apartment?
This what you were looking for?
-That's $1.000 worth of shit! -Fuck it!
Get the fuck out of my house before l break your neck.
l use that shit to get by.
l don't use it. l get by.
Get dressed and get out.
All right. l forgot.
Talking to Dudley fucking Do-right.
That shit happens real easy.
lt starts out...
...painkillers.
Using Demerol because your fucking knees are shot!
Before you know it. you're chewing codeine with your pancakes.
Then a truck comes out of nowhere...
...and you're talking to God. saying:
''Help me out. Big Guy.
''l pay taxes. l go to church. What's with this dead wife and kid shit?''
But He ain't answering.
He ain't taking no calls that day.
lnstead. l get a call from the fucking League.
They're saying. ''Kid. your career's over.''
l say. ''Why?''
Because l gambled.
Why is there an injury report in pro football?
Nobody else has one.
But pro football does.
You know why?
That's so the gamblers will have a fucking accurate spread!
lt's all business now. They push until you blow your brains out.
Just like Billy Cole did!
Can't you see the hypocrites took away my life!
When you're done feeling sorry for yourself. the door's that way.
You bastard.
And then some.
Would you sign my card?
Sorry l was so bitchy before.
l guess your dad's pretty pissed.
He'll get over it.
You were his biggest hero.
Since when?
Since l was little.
You should've heard him. ''Jimmy. this. Jimmy that.
''Best quarterback in the game.''
When you got busted. he quit watching.
Does he punch all his heroes?
To the daughter of the last Boy Scout. Jimmy Dix.
Good morning. Jimmy.
Who are you? How do you know my name?
-Now is this the guy? You sure? -lt's him.
This is the kid with the million-dollar arm?
Don't look like much.
l can't tell which of you looks the most like my dick.
Say what you got to say. or get out of my way.
Grab him. Grab him.
lt's okay. lt's okay. folks!
lt's okay. lt's okay.
Thank you. Thank you.
Danger is my middle name.
Don't try this at home. folks. l'm a trained professional.
There's me...
...and there's Super Dave.
l got bad news and bad news.
Give me the bad news first.
Bad news is someone bounced Jimmy Dix off a car.
Now give me the bad news.
l just took a statement from Hallenbeck's neighbor.
The day he died. Mike Matthews came to Hallenbeck's house...
...early in the morning to discuss a case.
So Hallenbeck says.
How come Hallenbeck's neighbor claims...
...Matthews's car was parked there all night in the same spot?
Why did he lie?
Matthews is fucking his wife.
That's why the car was there. Matthews was fucking his wife.
Hallenbeck just got back in to town.
Christ. Joe wasted the bastard himself.
He waltzed right out of my office.
l let the son of a bitch go.
Give me a chance. l'll get him back.
Tommy.
You can go to a party when you're 1 7.
Good morning. Joseph.
We got trouble. Milo.
Pick up his gun by the trigger guard.
Give it to me.
ls there a problem?
Yes. Officer. As a matter of fact. there is.
Apparently. there are too many bullets in this gun.
Fingerprints.
Naughty boy. Joseph.
You just shot a police officer.
It's you, Daddy.
l think he's awake.
Make sure.
l'm awake.
You nearly broke my wrist.
Milo warned us to watch out for him.
Fuck that!
Fuck you! Look at him. He's nothing. Guy's a piece of shit.
Got a cigarette?
Cigarette? Sure.
l got a cigarette.
Got a light?
Yes. l got a light.
l thought you were tough.
See? He's not so bad.
l seem to have dropped my cigarette.
May l have another?
Sure thing. buddy.
l'll need a light.
lf you touch me again. l'll kill you.
Baby!
Oh. baby!
Two for two.
Told you.
Jesus Christ.
You killed him!
You fucking-A killed him! He's dead!
ls there a problem?
He just killed Chet. Put his fuckin' nose through his brain!
l needed a light.
You don't disappoint me.
But you took an awful risk.
Pablo could've shot you dead.
lf you wanted me dead. you'd have killed me before.
That's true.
-Can we do a formal introduction? -Who gives a fuck?
You're the bad guy.
l am the bad guy.
And l'm supposed to tremble with fear?
Something like that.
Fine.
l'll start in a minute.
Meanwhile. could l have a drink?
l don't see why not.
Take Chet's corpse away and fix Mr. Hallenbeck a drink.
Make that two.
lf it isn't Shelly Marcone himself!
Careful. son.
Only friends call me Shelly.
You have friends?
When did this happen?
Boy. you sure are feisty for a fellow in your position.
Milo. teach him some manners.
Touch me again. l'll kill you.
What fucking conspiracy are you talking about?
Hallenbeck's a fruit loop. He's been after Senator Baynard for years.
You want me to believe the senator's mixed up in this?
l'll say it again for the cheap seats. Lieutenant.
l don't know where Joe is! That's my fucking statement!
Write it down and shove it up your ass.
l could nail you for obstruction.
You couldn't nail a $2 whore. Charge me with something or let me out!
My husband did not kill a cop!
Aside from that. l can't help you. May we go now?
Can l have a minute with your mom in private?
Pleasure.
Do you deny being sexually involved with Michael Matthews prior to his death?
Why am l calling?
'Cause l had to hear your sweet voice. And l need a favor.
No. it ain't like that. No. it wasn't no liquor talking.
You're not fat. You're just a whole lot of woman.
Do me a favor. big mama.
Senator Calvin Baynard. He's a season ticket holder. right?
Punch up his address and tell me where you send the tickets.
Good girl.
Great.
Don't worry. l'll find your dad.
How?
When in doubt. try the nearest bad guy.
Football is a dying beast. Joe.
No heroes left.
Not anymore.
Since old Sonny Werblin paid $400.000 to Joe Namath in '66...
...the bastards have just gotten greedier.
God Almighty. when's it enough?
Jesus. free agents. ''Give me. give me. give me. give me.''
Now you got guys on PCP. shooting themselves on the field.
The American public's piss-pot tired of it and they're changing the channel.
The ratings are down.
So you'll bribe senators to legalize gambling.
Legalize sports gambling.
You see. with all the heroes gone...
...only legalized gambling will save the beast.
You follow me?
We're talking about some big bucks.
We're talking about billions.
That's nine zeroes. son.
l'm not your fucking son.
Have you ever heard of the Senate's Commission...
...to lnvestigate Gambling in Professional Sports?
ls that who you're paying off?
The commission's gonna vote next March.
l got them all in my hip pocket. except Senator Calvin Baynard.
l tried to bribe that son of a bitch.
He gave it back because it wasn't enough.
-What's he want? -Six million.
Or he'll go straight to the police.
l think it's just gonna be cheaper to kill that son of a bitch.
Taking off a senator is ballsy. even for an asshole like you.
You said it. Joe-boy.
That's why we'll frame you for the senator's murder.
As chairman of the commission. l'll simply say this:
l'm reviewing both sides of the issue with utmost care...
...and scrutiny.
l will adopt a position based on what is best for the sport.
ln the meantime...
...l can't wait to get to the Coliseum to watch my favorite L.A. team...
...kick the hell out of Tampa Bay.
Cut!
-Thank you. Senator. -Thank you. Always a pleasure.
Come on. Jimmy. think. think. think. What would Joe do?
He'd shoot everybody. Smoke some cigarettes. But l have no gun.
-How'd you get here? -l hitched.
l meant. how did you find me?
My dad's a detective. What can l say?
You didn't cover your tracks. You're easy to trace.
Just what l need. Nancy fucking Drew.
l brought you this.
Where did you get that?
Stole it from my dad's closet.
He'd kill me if he found out.
You'll kill yourself first. you jerk.
Take this ugly monkey and get out of here.
-l want to know what's going on. -Watch CNN.
Go.
Those are the bodyguards in the picture.
They're leaving without the senator. l have to follow them. Go.
-l'm coming with you. -You can't come. Go home.
Kiss my ass.
ls that clear enough?
Fine.
You little brat.
We're just gonna follow them. How dangerous can that be?
We're in position.
The senator's men are en route. E.T.A.. five minutes.
Damn. where are they going?
Let's find out.
Here.
l told you no guns. right? l hate guns.
You stay here. l'll go look around. Stay!
Six mil.
Excuse me.
Did any of you stupid shits bother to frisk this fuck?
He could be a goddamn cop. Will you frisk him?
Take it easy.
lt's okay.
Hand him the briefcase. Joseph.
Nice suit.
The briefcase was loaded with explosives. wasn't it?
Ten pounds of C-4 is on the way to the Coliseum right now.
lt's ironic. don't you think?
This bomb will be delivered to Baynard by his own bodyguards.
After his death...
...the police will receive a photograph of you...
...handing over the briefcase.
And will blame you for the crime.
They'll believe it. 'cause they know you're a big fan of Baynard's.
Go fuck yourself.
Now. that's not polite.
lt's very abusive sounding.
What would you do...
...if somebody told you to go fuck yourself?
Would you cut one of their eyes out?
What would you do?
You think you're so fucking cool.
But this once...
...l'd like to hear you scream...
...in pain.
Play some rap music.
Hey. Flash.
Rescue attempt?
Blow me.
You must be James.
He does that with everybody.
Calls me Joseph.
l trust you're alone?
No. l got the fucking Vienna Boys Choir with me.
ls everybody stupid around here?
Just you.
Shoot them and bury them.
Scared?
Shitless. You?
More or less.
Hey. mister?
Do you like my puppet?
Get this kid out of here.
My name is Furry Tom.
l said. get out of here. kid.
Kid stays.
Can you make him talk?
Go on. Try.
Go ahead. Take it.
lt's riddle time.
Why did Mr. Milo cross the road?
l don't know. Why?
Because his dick was stuck in a chicken.
Fur ball?
This is probably the first pussy a lot of you have seen in a long time.
Especially this fat fuck.
Where'd you get the suit?
Gangsters 'R' Us?
Get out of here!
-What is she doing here? -l followed him. lt's not his fault!
l'll kill you both!
But you'll have to get in line.
-Here. Take this. -What do l do with it?
Point it at the bad guys and shoot!
Keep your head down!
-Any more bright ideas? -We'll go real fast!
Good idea!
Push this fuck off the road. man!
Hang on!
Put your seat belts on!
This is bad!
Very bad!
You all right? Let's go.
Any chance they're still alive?
Not now.
Call the cops!
Tell them there's a bomb at the Coliseum! Senator Baynard's in danger!
You got it?
Happy birthday. Buy yourself a new pair of pants.
We got to get that bomb before it gets to Baynard.
Got a car?
-Do you have a car? -Give me the keys.
No way.
Give me the keys or l shoot the kid.
Daddy!
All right. Come on. let's go.
-You're the dumbest guy in the world. -Why?
'Cause you're trying to save the guy that ruined your career...
...and avenge the death of the guy that fucked your wife.
The girl said her dad's name is Joe Hollenbrooker.
-What is it? -Hallenbeck.
He stole my car and said he's going to the Coliseum.
He stole my car. He set my pool on fire. The man is a lunatic!
Give me ten black-and-whites. He's going to the Coliseum.
lf we go any faster. we'll travel back in time.
There.
You pull up and l'll yell at them.
-Pull up next to them and l'll yell at them. -That's the lamest plan l've ever heard!
-Can we try? -Bulletproof glass. They won't hear you.
-What are you doing? -Drawing them a picture.
-What is that? -A bomb.
Looks like an apple with lines saying. ''Don't open the briefcase. it's full of fruit.''
You want to draw it?
-Happy? -Bom.
Are you kidding me?
Always criticizing. l can't do nothing right.
l forgot to tell you.
-''Bom'' is ''fuck you'' in Polish. -lt's not funny. l almost bought it.
Tragic loss to the art world.
You'll lose them.
Buckle your seat belt.
lt's not working!
l swear to Christ. if l survive this case. l'll dance a jig.
l will dance a jig.
There! There!
On the off-ramp we just passed!
Where you going? Where you going?
Ain't l a bitch?
Now do we go to the cops?
l'll think about it.
Expecting a call?
Hey. motherfucker.
-Where are you? Bottom of the pool? -On my way to the ball game.
Someone here wants to talk to you.
Hi. Daddy.
I'm okay. I'm not hurt.
You back off...
...or l'll show your daughter what a hot date l am.
-What happened? -He's taken Darian.
What do we do?
We take Marcone.
lt's the only way. lf we do nothing. they'll kill her anyway.
Careful with that case. lt's the one that goes ''bang.''
Look at all this.
Shredders.
Police and the DEA use it to blow locks.
They explode on impact.
Kill everything within a ten-foot radius.
Put this on. Get in. You in or out?
l guess l'm in. What have l got to lose?
We're going to a ball game.
THlS SPACE RESERVED FOR S. MARCONE
That's Marcone's car.
Come on.
-Always wanted to do that. -Should've shit on it.
Shit. l forgot to tell you you're wanted for murder.
Mr. Dix. long time no see.
Yeah. too long.
We're going to see Mr. Marcone.
Sure. go ahead.
Jimmy Dix. you bastard!
You broke my nose! What are you doing here?
You were banned! You were kicked off the team!
How'd you like to be kicked off the planet?
Have a nice game.
AUTHORlZED PERSONNEL ONLY
How you doin'?
You are one dumb son of a bitch.
You know that?
l guess we won't dance that jig.
You okay?
Of course she is all right. She's been with her Uncle Shelly.
Yeah. l'm okay. Dad.
Loose the guns.
Take off your coats. Relax.
Give up. What do you think Baynard'll do when he finds out you tried to kill him?
He doesn't have a chance.
Pretty shortly. Milo will have him between the crosses of a high-powered rifle.
Where's old Milo shooting from?
You just never run out of questions.
Let's just say...
...Milo's in a highly enlightened position.
Why'd you kill Cory?
She took to blackmail. l have no truck with that.
She's one of the sweetest little whores l ever tasted.
There's five feet of marble between me and you.
Maybe l make it. maybe l don't.
You call her ''whore'' again. l'm gonna find out.
Do what you got to do.
Take it easy.
He should know.
With a face like that. he's got to be paying for it.
lf you're fond of this little girl...
...you'll keep your goddamn mouth shut!
Eat shit. you fucking redneck!
Come here.
Goddamn. l'm really glad to see you. Jimmy.
l still have that autographed ball you gave me for my collection.
lt's a shame about you.
You had the million-dollar arm. kiddo.
You got hooked on...
...was it...
...Demerol!
'Cause you couldn't stand the pain. You hated the pain.
Couldn't take the pain.
Life is pain.
Walk it off. son.
Discipline.
Oh. God!
Kids nowadays just don't have no discipline.
Don't you cry. honey.
Come on.
Sit in Uncle Shelly's chair.
Let the girl go.
Put them out of my misery.
There is the matter of the $6 million.
Unless you're not interested.
Let's humor this asshole.
Tell me about it.
Just me and Flash know where it is.
lt's in the back of a white BMW.
We can take you to it.
Milo told me the money was destroyed.
You're bluffing.
Think l'm bluffing?
l also have in my possession a certain tape.
You and Senator Baynard.
Very juicy stuff.
Well. now. just let me guess.
lf something happens to you...
...that thing will be mailed to the cops.
Close. Actually. it goes to the mob.
They'd be very interested to know what you're up to.
Legalized gambling.
Hell. they stand to lose what? Two?
Two and a half billion dollars?
They won't be upset about that.
Just their entire bookmaking income.
Go ahead and pull the trigger.
Be my guest.
Just don't be surprised if you wake up next to a stallion head....
lf you had that goddamn tape you'd have already told me.
This ain't working.
Try something else. Take your best shot.
Fuck you. l ain't going out like that! Mr. Marcone. he's lying!
-We have the money. but it ain't in the car. -Shut up!
lt's in a locker! l got the key!
Where is the key?
l got it stashed in my shorts.
Easy. Just easy.
-Don't give it to him. He'll kill you! -He'll kill us anyway. asshole!
You have to promise to let me go.
Bullshit.
Give him the key or l'll have you kneecapped.
Look's like nobody gets the money. lt's one of those new plastic keys.
Get the goddamned key!
The kind that shreds.
Darian. get down.
Get her out!
l can't walk.
You all right? You gonna pass out?
l'm gonna make it.
Here.
Plastic keys? The kind that shred?
Short notice. Best l could do.
You did real good.
Learned from a pro.
Shit! You wasn't bluffing.
-Where's the senator's box? -Section C. l'll show you.
Where's the senator's box?
There.
Where's Milo?
A highly enlightened position.
He's gotta be up on those lights.
Go find a cop and stay put. all right?
You hear me? Listen to Daddy. all right?
l'll be all right.
Do what l say. Give me a kiss.
Go. Go. Run. Go find a cop.
-What about me? -Find Baynard.
Then what do l do?
Get his attention.
Freeze.
There's a sniper on that light! He's gonna shoot Baynard!
Come on!
There he is! Jimmy Dix!
He pulled a gun on me. You scum!
He's got a shotgun! You bastard! You fuck!
Sit down!
Give me the ball!
Give me the fucking ball!
Thank you.
l said. ''Sit down! ''
Put down your weapon! You're under arrest!
Fuck!
Looking for this?
You fucking asshole!
l told you...
...if you ever touch me again. l'll kill you!
Not me!
What the hell is he doing?
l don't know. ls he dancing?
Looks like he's dancing.
For a dancer. he's one hell of a detective.
What's this l hear about Satan Claus?
You know about him too?
There! That's the man!
This bastard who's been making the phone calls and harassing me!
l bet he stage-managed the whole damn thing!
Arrest him!
Head or gut?
Excuse me?
Mom's here.
l need you so much.
You're a real bastard. you know that?
And then some.
l'm sorry.
l'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
l'll buy a dog.
Fuck you. Sarah.
You're a lying bitch and if the cops weren't here. l'd spit in your face.
Where's the briefcase they were telling me about?
White BMW. Back seat.
Ain't a thing here.
Bingo.
Marcone's got the wrong one!
What?
So. what's next for us?
Tomorrow. l guess.
Just take it one step at a time.
Daddy. can l go show Jimmy to my friends?
-He's not a puppy. honey. -He's fucking famous.
You want to watch your mouth?
Come on. Dad.
Your father said. ''Watch your mouth.'' Now. do it!
Yes. sir.
l like that.
l'm thinking l could use a partner.
You up for that?
l don't know anything about being a detective.
There's nothing to it.
This being the 90s. you can't just walk up to a guy and smack him in the face.
You got to say something cool first.
Yeah. like. ''l'll be back.''
Only better than that. Like. you hit him with a surfboard and say:
''Surf's up. pal! ''
Something like that.
So. what else?
There's not much more.
Water's wet. the sky is blue....
The old Satan Claus. he's out there just getting stronger.
So. what do we do about that?
Be prepared. son.
That's my motto. Be prepared.